remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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