OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
