An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize