he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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