never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
