areolas are like halos for boobs.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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