I'm laying in your front yard are you home
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
