STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I could make wine with my vomit
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
