Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
