ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
