I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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