so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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