I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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