Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
