i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
