Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
