i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
