it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
