batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
