matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
