then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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