i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
