I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
