Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
