At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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