There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
