we're blogging at a bar
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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