she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize