i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
