go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
