I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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