While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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