***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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