its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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