Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
