Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
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