One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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