I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
