she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
