my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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