Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
