I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
