normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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