I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
