I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
