I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
In America we eat man semen.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
