I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize