Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
