Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
