we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
