Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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