As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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