Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
