We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
