they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
