I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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