Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Less talking, more tequila
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
