every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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