i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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