Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
