I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have feelings that need drinking.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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