So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
