Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
