I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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