He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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