can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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