im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
