i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
