i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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