Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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