I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
