i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Girls should come with a carfax report
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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