did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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