Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
